In the Moment with Barbara Carole

MOVING TOWARD SIMPLICITY

Barbara Carole — Tue, 30 Aug 2011 16:29:07 +0000

“Youth is beautiful!” the saying goes. And some of it is. The physical form and shape of youth is a pleasure to behold. The exuberance and energy are wonderful. But inside, the feelings can be tormented, twisted, painful.
Everything is complicated when we are young – at least, when I was young. Everything was ambiguous, embroiled in questions, the clouds of divergent philosophies. I drove myself nuts and allowed things that should never have been allowed.

               Aging is not my idea of fun, but I love that it has brought a lot of clarity and simplicity into my life. And it turned a lot of my vision upside down. For example:
               Brilliance, intellect, and expertise are admirable, but they are nowhere as valuable as kindness, wisdom, and generous service to others.
                It doesn’t matter what the reasons that drive someone to be hurtful or mean, I don’t have to let them cross my boundaries or expose myself to it.
                Our faith is not defined by rules; it’s defined by our personal relationship to God and the people around us, and by how we relate to this world.

Some of us are fortunate to have learned the important lessons early in life. They don’t have to agonize about finding “meaning” and ultimate truth. They are kind and compassionate and giving and they surround themselves with people who can love.

For our grandchildren that is my prayer: Learn everything the world can teach, exercise the brilliance you were gifted with, but don’t let intellect overshadow wisdom.

A FAMILY AFFAIR

Barbara Carole — Mon, 14 Mar 2011 04:32:43 +0000

I was young when I married for the first time. And there was much about the significance of a wedding I did not understand.
The wedding of my friend, five years later, lingered with me. What made it so different from my own? The white dress? The crowd of people? The elegant food? No, it was her family. That was it. We had had no family at our wedding.
At the time, I did not think it mattered. I believed marriage was simply a union of two individuals. I didn’t understand how that union affects a whole family. Until I saw at my friend’s wedding was how deeply the event affected her sisters, brother, aunts, parents, and her whole community. It mattered to them.
My friend would not consider getting married anywhere except in a church, I agreed it would be prettier, warmer, than a civil ceremony. But I came to see that it is more. For them, for her family, the wedding was a holy sacrament. It was the union not of two individuals, but of two families who would be joined as one through the children who would come.
I thought at the time that I was pretty smart. In fact, I was ignorant. I did not know what really made life meaningful, what made it beautiful. I am very glad to have grown up.

DARN! WHY DIDN’T I WRITE THAT?

Barbara Carole — Wed, 29 Sep 2010 04:41:48 +0000

This is not mine, but I give it to you anyway…

“You can kiss your family and friends good-bye and put miles between you, but at the same time you carry them with you in your heart, your mind, your stomach, because you do not just live in a world, but a world lives in you.” [Frederick Buechner, Telling the Truth]

SUSIE’S SONG

Barbara Carole — Sat, 03 Apr 2010 20:08:48 +0000

Susie is my friend. She is the embodiment of joy. She teaches me to dance in the sunlight and to dance in the rain. Right now I’m praying for Susie, and giving thanks for her radiance. I pray equally for me that, in her shoes, I’d be dancing, too.

Here’s what Susie says:

“It’s snowing now, some of the flakes as big as walnuts. Flakes? More like flunks. I walk out among them, together with my four-footed furry friend and we are instantly covered in white. Winter’s beauty wraps around my heart and lifts it to the height of trees overhead. All of them, the most ordinary amongst them, is glorified in every branch, every twig. Just as I am uplifted in the midst of cancer’s storm.

It is your love and prayers, your hugs and kisses and cards that shower me with glory and keep me from falling into despair. Oh, dear ones, how I appreciate your support at this time. I felt some despair this morning after a chemo orientation. So much material to digest, so many plans to make preparing for so many months of discomfort!

But, you know me. I don’t spend a lot of time on that. I have to get back to celebrating! Whoopee! I’ve made it through this far and love life so much. It’s exciting just thinking about having more years to enjoy it. Thanks be to a gracious and loving God and to my caring friends. Now is waiting for me to pay attention to it, and now is a happy, beautiful, winter’s afternoon.”

THE REAL ME?

Barbara Carole — Sun, 28 Feb 2010 03:32:45 +0000

“I couldn’t put it down; I stayed up for nights on end to read it.” That’s an almost universal response to my book, “Twelve Stones,” a humbling and gratifying response.

But something else I hear all the time – from people who know me personally – is, “I didn’t know that about you! I never dreamed you’d done those things!” I hear it so often it makes me wonder how well we really know our friends.

We think we know them well. We assume a lot. But they have changed. You and I have changed. And our opinions have changed, too. So anything we think we know about our friends, or even of ourselves, “is only a snapshot of a passing moment.” And the only honest answer we can give to the question: “Who are you?” is: “When?”[1]

[1] “Crazy for God” by Frank Schaeffer (Da Capo Press 2008), p. 391

IN THE NOW

Barbara Carole — Tue, 16 Feb 2010 22:56:51 +0000

I stand on the deck overlooking our garden sloping down to the street. It is dry and brown, the bare branches forming sculptural designs. It is tempting to imagine how it will be in spring, the lush leaves in countless shades of green, color bursting from azaleas and rhododendrons and hydrangeas, from flowers everywhere, all so thick and full you cannot even see the ground. Tempting to dream about the sky turning from gray to brilliant blue, the sungold light rays through the trees. Tempting, but…

The time will come for that. It is not now.

This day is what it is and I rejoice in it. Just as I am not who I wish I were, I am simply the imperfect person that I am and the better person that I am becoming. I rejoice in it. I give thanks for the beauty that is before me, just as it is.

Today is what it is and I am what I am. Tiny buds and whispers of green foretell that something glorious is unfolding within both of us. But I will rest in what is now.

STYLES CHANGE. STYLE DOES NOT.

Barbara Carole — Sat, 02 Jan 2010 01:23:29 +0000

We don’t have to spend a fortune on clothes or furniture. We don’t have to keep up with the latest trends to look stunning. Fashion flair is a question of good taste, knowing what to put together, how to select something stunning – even when it’s not expensive. I’ve been in homes – mansions, actually – where enormous sums of money are spent and they were not the least bit attractive. Taste. It all comes down to that innate artistic vision which, like all forms of art, is a gift from God.

Christian Terrorism

Barbara Carole — Sun, 22 Nov 2009 00:04:03 +0000

As a believing Christian, I am horrified by the barbaric and dangerous rhetoric flying about regarding our President. People are selling hats and tee shirts saying “Pray for Obama: Psalm 109: 8,9” — verses which say:

“May his days be few;
may another take his place of leadership.

⁹ May his children be fatherless
and his wife a widow.”

This is truly scary stuff. In addition to being ugly and dangerous (inciting violence), it’s been broadcast all over the news media, thereby sending a broad-reaching witness to the non-believing world that Christians are hate-filled, dangerous maniacs.

I beg the leaders of the Evangelical Christian community, people with access to the media, to speak out loudly and firmly in protest against such unchristian action. People who spout this kind of poison spread shame over all the Christian community; they portray us as hate-mongers, no better than the Taliban.

In politics, the issue of abortion is important. But Jesus also cared about the poor, the sick, and the helpless (widows and orphans). We should too. If we really follow our Master, we will love even those with whom we disagree and speak always, as He did, in love.

HOME TO THE SPIRIT

Barbara Carole — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 18:27:09 +0000

My cousin has to move to another part of the country. “Florida is simply not my spiritual home,” she writes. I totally get that. I get it because where I live now IS my spiritual home and I know the difference. Here, my creative juices flow. My connection to God is strong. My energy is high. My love overflows. I live, intensely, in the moment!

It wasn’t always so. I spent 30 years living “out of zone” in Los Angeles. I already knew, when leaving Paris to return to the states, that I did not want to live in Los Angeles, that it would never be my spiritual home. But that was where the job offers came from. It was where we established a home. Had a child. Made some good friends. Got a divorce.

And I stayed, because leaving a job and family and moving with an infant to parts unknown was scary. And I stayed. And remarried. And we stayed. We were comfortable. We had some very good times. It wasn’t bad. But it was wrong.

And I couldn’t know how wrong it was until life and circumstances moved us north – no, let’s call it what it really was: God moved us north, to a small town where we flowered and bloomed, where we were embraced by a community of caring, artistic people and where we found a spiritual family that truly resonated with our hearts.

Is where you live your true spiritual home? Think sincerely about it. Because if it is not, you are not fully alive. Find your spiritual home and dare to go. Dare to live the high adventure to which you are called. There is more, much more, to life than comfort!

DANCING

Barbara Carole — Sun, 18 Oct 2009 05:43:06 +0000

I sure wish I could claim credit for this, but it isn’t mine. It’s just wonderful, and it belongs to the universe. A friend wrote it on my Facebook wall: